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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout erotic-massage, somethin’ those fat-cat billionaires probably hog for themselves! Picture this: me, sittin’ in my creaky ol’ chair, thinkin’ bout “Ida”—that stark, quiet flick from 2013, Pawlikowski’s masterpiece. Bleak Poland, nun’s life, all that heavy jazz—and then, bam, erotic-massage pops in my head! Total opposite vibe, right? “What do you know about yourself,” Ida’d say, starin’ at me judgy-like, while I’m over here dreamin’ of warm oils and slow hands.

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down Rue de la Gare. I’m trying to shake off the croissant tragedy, but then I see this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna set yourself on fire!” But he’s nailing it, and the crowd’s loving it. I’m clapping, laughing, feeling all the good vibes.

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