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About Bordeaux

Little fact for ya—didja know ancient Egyptians were freaky with it? Hieroglyphs showin’ massages with a sexy twist! Bet Cleopatra was like, “Rub me right, you get a Nile cruise!” Surprised me, girl, history’s wild! I’m over here imaginin’ Remy whisperin’, “This is me, I think it’s apparent,” while some masseuse works magic. Ha! Cracks me up thinkin’ sexual-massage coulda been Linguini’s secret sauce—forget cookin’, just knead the tension out!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid starts crying. Like, full-on meltdown. I’m trying to focus, but I can’t help but glance over. Poor little dude. Turns out, he lost his ice cream. I mean, who wouldn’t cry over that? I felt for him, but I had to keep it together. So, I’m signing away, and in my head, I’m like, “Dude, just get him another ice cream!”

Small Earthquake of Magnitude 2.8 Just Reported 15 km South of Toulon, France