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Here’s a laugh—bloke I know, slipped off the table, mid-rub, arse over tit! Oil everywhere, looked like a greased pig! Fuckin’ hilarious. Oh, and fun fact: some oils they use? Aphrodisiac shit—ylang-ylang or somethin’, gets ya goin’. Mental, innit? “The body speaks!”—that’s “Moolaadé” again, mate. Sexual-massage ain’t just filth—it’s art if done right. Don’t balls it up, you muppet! What ya think? Fancy a go?

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a telephone operator in Saint-Louis (fr) ain’t for the faint-hearted. So, I roll into work, right? It’s a sunny morning, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Sounders vs. St. Louis City, stream: Kickoff, lineup, update