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About Marseille

Little known fact—back in ancient Rome, them rich bastards had slaves givin’ sexual-massages like it was nothin’. Called it “frictio,” some fancy Latin crap. Bet they didn’t tip either, stingy pricks. Nowadays, you got parlors hidin’ in strip malls—shady but slick. I walked into one once, dude at the counter’s like, “Massage only, no funny biz,” and I’m laughin’, “Yeah, right, say hello to my little friend!”—cuz we both knew the deal.

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First off, I decided to grab a coffee at this cute little café on Rue de la Gare. You know, the one with the blue awning? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual—café crème, extra shot. But the barista, bless her heart, totally messed it up. I got a black coffee instead. Like, c’mon! I’m not trying to wake up in a horror movie! I was already cranky, and that just added fuel to the fire.

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