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Alright, listen up, jabroni! Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this sex-dating thing. Ya know, it’s wild out there—like tryna wrestle a greased pig in the dark! Apps, swipes, hookups—man, it’s a jungle. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*. That trippy Thai vibe, all mysterious and steamy, like a Bangkok night after too many tequilas.

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So, I’m sittin’ there, munchin’ on my croissant, when I hear this sick guitar riff from a street performer outside. I rush out, and it’s this kid, maybe 18, just killin’ it! I’m talkin’ serious talent. I’m like, “Yo, you gotta teach me that!” He just grins and keeps playin’. I’m feelin’ all inspired, right?

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