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Here’s the kicker: some dodgy spots sneak in “happy endings”—not my scene, mate. I’m all class, not crass. Heard a story once—bloke in Bangkok paid 20 quid, got a massage and a monkey show. Monkey show! What’s that about? Laughed my arse off, but it’s mad out there—keeps ya on yer toes.

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Then I decide to stroll down to the Parc de la Mairie. It’s a nice park, you know? Trees, flowers, the whole vibe. I’m just trying to chill, but then I see this kid, like, 10 years old, riding his bike like he’s in the Tour de France. He zooms past me and—BAM!—almost knocks me over. I’m like, “Dude, slow down! This ain’t the Champs-Élysées!” But he just grins and keeps going. Kids these days, man.

Hundreds oppose beauty spot ‘lake’ as man behind it speaks of 'witch hunt'