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About Paris

So, picture this – some dodgy parlour, right? Dim lights, smells like cheap lavender and sweat. Bloke’s there, hands oiled up, givin’ you the “relax, love” spiel. Mate, I’d sooner trust a Tyrell with my throne than this git with my bits! Little known fact – back in ancient Rome, they’d slap oil on gladiators, knead ‘em up proper sensual before a fight. Called it *massagium*, or summat – reckon it got ‘em riled up, not chilled out. Bet half of ‘em were ragin’ hard-ons in the arena, poor sods.

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First off, I head down Rue de la République. It’s a nice street, you know? But today, it was packed. Like, where did all these people come from? I’m just trying to get my morning baguette from the boulangerie. But nooo, there’s a line longer than my pig’s tail! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, people, I got pigs to feed!”

New extension of tram line 15 extension in Geneva