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Brother, lemme tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage! It’s like steppin’ into the ring, ya know? All that tension, body on body, slick moves—like Ennis and Jack wrasslin’ up on Brokeback Mountain, brother! “I wish I knew how to quit you,” one of ‘em says, and damn, that’s how it feels when the hands start workin’. It ain’t just rubbin’—it’s power, it’s heat, it’s a freakin’ suplex of pleasure, brother!

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I try to ignore him and focus on my stall. But then, a lady comes up, and she’s like, “Your pigs are so cute!” I’m like, “Yeah, they are! But they’re not just cute; they’re the best!” I’m trying to sell my stuff, but Pierre’s over there, showing off his prize-winning pig. I’m fuming.

One-Day Visit to Annecy, France