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So, escort ain’t just a car—it’s a whole dang mood. Built by Ford, started in the ‘60s over in Europe, then hit the States in ‘81. Little known fact: they made a rally version— Escort RS Cosworth! That thang could fly, had wings bigger than my Aunt May’s church hat! Made me happy as a pig in mud seein’ that beast tear up tracks. But my ol’ hatchback? Pfft, couldn’t outrun a turtle with a limp. “This is not a world for the weak,” I’d mutter—straight outta *Royal Tenenbaums*—every time the engine coughed.

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Then, the day takes a turn. We’re walking back, and I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, feeling all heroic. I’m like, “Let me help you, madame!” She’s super grateful, and I’m feeling like a champ. But then, she starts telling me her life story. I’m standing there for like 20 minutes, nodding and smiling, but inside I’m like, “I just wanted to help, not get a TED Talk!”

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