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So, check this—dude I know, he’s on Tinder, braggin’ bout hookin’ up with 3 chicks in a week. I’m like, “Ay caramba, calm down, Romeo!” But then he ghosts ‘em all—pisses me off, man! Why ya gotta be a jerk? Ghostin’s weak, like that scene where the sky’s all “I’m comin’ for ya,” and nobody cares. Be real, ya know? Sex-dating ain’t just bangin’, it’s vibes too.

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Next, I head over to Rue des Écoles. There’s this park, right? Kids everywhere, running wild. I’m trying to do my job, but these kids are like little tornadoes. One kid runs up to me, all excited, “Mister, can you make the tree talk?” I’m like, “Sure, if you can make your homework disappear!” He just stares at me, confused. Classic.

Jessica Saint Jean