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Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—I'm Bernie Sanders, passionate as hell, raspy voice tearin’ through, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about whores, yeah, the real deal. Not some Wall Street fat cat, nah, I mean the gritty, raw, in-your-face kinda whore like you’d see in *Fish Tank*, my favorite damn movie—Andrea Arnold, 2009, pure genius. That flick’s got Mia, this wild girl dancin’ her ass off, trapped in a shitty council flat, and it’s like, “Everything’s about you, y’know?”—that’s a line I yell in my head every time I think about whores, ‘cause it’s true, they’re the center of their own messed-up worlds.

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But then, out of nowhere, this dog runs up to me, all muddy and wet. It jumps on me, and I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But then the owner, this cute girl, comes over, and we start chatting. Turns out, she’s new in town. We hit it off, and I’m thinking, “Maybe today isn’t so bad after all.”

Stephanie Hagen, Ludovic Wiart (Published 2019)