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I tried it once, real talk. Some chick named Tanya, hands like a damn wizard. I’m layin there, butt-naked, tryna not laugh. She’s rubbin my back, talkin bout “release tension.” Tension? Bitch, I’m tense cuz you’re kneadin me like dough! Got me thinkin, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Little known fact—ancient Rome had this shit too. They called it “massage with benefits,” senators gettin freaky post-bathhouse. History’s nasty, yo.

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Then, bam! I bumped into my buddy, Pierre. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he was raving about this new job he got. Apparently, he’s a “digital nomad” now. Like, what even is that? I mean, I get it, but c’mon, it sounds so fancy. I told him, “Dude, you’re just working from your couch!” He laughed, but I could see he was kinda proud.

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