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About Lille

So, I tried it once—don’t judge me! This chick, swear she had hands like a freakin’ angel. Slippery, slow, got me feelin’ like I’m floatin’. Made me happy as hell—stress gone, poof! But then, there’s this shady joint downtown—guy smelled like old socks, pissed me off big time. Don’t pee on my leg and say it’s “sensual,” pal! I walked out, yellin’, “I’m not a concierge, I’m a judge!” Total waste of 50 bucks.

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So, I’m there, trying to calm him down. He’s prancing around like he’s got ants in his pants. I’m sweating bullets. Finally, we get to the starting line. The crowd’s buzzing, and I’m like, “This is it!” But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon decides to take a dump right on my helmet. Seriously?! I’m standing there, trying to look cool, and I’m like, “Great, just great.”

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