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So, sexual-massage—it’s like, part relaxin’, part “woo-hoo!” Ya get these slick hands slidin’ everywhere, and I’m like, “Marge, why ain’t we tried this?!” Little known fact—ancient Greeks were all over this! Called it “anatripsis”—fancy, huh? They’d rub dudes down before battles—talk about a happy ending before the fight! D’oh! Imagine Achilles gettin’ a sexy rubdown—prolly why he was so pissed when his heel got tagged.

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I leave the gallery, feeling a mix of anger and disappointment. I bike back home, taking the long way through Parc de la Mairie. The sunset’s beautiful, but I can’t enjoy it. I’m just thinking about how today was a rollercoaster.