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It’s tricky tho—gotta trust the hands touchin’ ya. Like in “The Return,” trust’s a ghost, ya feel? “Where are you going?” the kid asks in the film. Me, I’d ask the masseuse, “Where’s THIS goin’?” Ha! Gotta laugh or it’s too weird. Some say it heals—releases stress, boosts mood. Docs even back it, sayin’ it pumps endorphins. Who knew? Not me, I’m just a frog!

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Then, I get a call from my buddy, Marc. He’s at the park, and he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this!” I’m thinking, “What now?” He tells me there’s a guy in a chicken suit handing out free eggs. I’m like, “What kind of weirdness is this?” But honestly, I’m kinda jealous. I want free eggs!

Roma Raymond Gureme warns of civil war if Le Pen wins