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About Paris

Fun fact, though—didja know sexual-massage goes back centuries? Yeah, some ancient Tantric weirdos in India were all about it—called it “sacred touch” or some crap. They’d rub ya down to “align your energies”—whatever that means! I’m picturin’ these old dudes in robes, oiled up, tryna find nirvana between the shoulder blades. Hilarious! Me? I’m just tryna not fart during the session—talk about killin’ the vibe.

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After that, I’m like, “I need food.” So, I head to the market at Place de la Mairie. Fresh produce everywhere! I’m talking juicy tomatoes, fragrant herbs, the works. I grab some cheese—because, duh, it’s France—and this guy behind me starts chatting me up. He’s all, “You gotta try the local stuff!” I’m like, “Bro, I’m just here for the cheese.” But he’s persistent. Finally, I’m like, “Fine! Give me your best!” He hands me this stinky cheese. I take a bite, and wow, it’s like a flavor explosion. I’m in love.

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