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Little secret, eh? Them fancy spas hide it, but erotic-massage pops up in old Chinese scrolls—emperors got it, sneaky-like, for “health.” Pfft, health me arse, they loved it! Surprised me, tho, how it’s all vibes—candles, oils, some weirdo humming. “Can’t quit you,” I’d mutter to me lavender lotion, sniffin’ it like a creep. Animation gig’s stiff, mate, neck’s a rock—erotic-massage fixes that, swear it does. Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it, too busy eatin’ taters.

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So, I’m strolling down Rue de la République, just vibin’ with my coffee. It’s a cute street, all those little shops and cafés. I’m like, “This is the life!” Then BAM! I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? Almost spilled my coffee everywhere. Ugh!

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