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Met this one gal anyway—call her Jenny. Skinny, loud, smelled like cheap wine. Date was at a bar—hate bars, too noisy, too many morons. She’s yappin’ about her ex, I’m nursin’ a whiskey, dreamin’ of my cabin. She says, “I’m just lookin’ for fun, no strings.” Fine, I get it, sex-dating’s all about that—bang and bounce. But then she pulls out her phone, shows me pics of her cat. CAT. I’m like, “Why am I here?” Reminds me of that line, “We’re all lost in this valley.” Lost, alright—lost in a hell of horny weirdos.

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But then, out of nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, what the heck? I didn’t sign up for this! We duck into a café to wait it out. I’m sitting there, sipping hot chocolate, and I can’t help but think about how crazy this day has been. From coffee spills to pigeon chases, it’s been a rollercoaster.

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