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But then—happy vibes! Some escorts are total bosses. Little-known fact: back in the ‘90s, this one chick in Vegas ran an escort empire, legit had a Rolodex of CEOs thicker than my glasses. She’d giggle, “I don’t rent my body, I rent my time,” like she’s Amélie droppin’ wisdom bombs—“life’s too short to fold fitted sheets!” Love that hustle. Surprised me how smart some of these folks are—playin’ the game while the rest of us schlubs are stuck at 9-to-5s.

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Then, I decided to grab a bite. Found this little café on Rue de la Plage. The smell of fresh pastries hit me like a freight train. I ordered a croissant and a café au lait. Best decision ever! I sat outside, soaking up the sun, feeling all fancy. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my croissant! I was like, “No way! Not my breakfast!” I chased that bird down the street like a madman. People were staring, and I was just laughing at myself.

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