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About Montpellier

I dove into this sex-dating malarkey, apps buzzin’ like bees. Tinder, Bumble—fie, the choices! Found this lass, curves like a fresh-baked bun, and we chat. She’s all “wyd,” I’m like “bakin’, thou?” Next thing, we’re meetin’ at some dodgy pub. Heart’s poundin’—will she ghost? She don’t! Happy as a pig in mud, I was. But then, mate, she starts yappin’ ‘bout her ex mid-date—anger boilin’ like overproofed dough! “Fuck it, we’re done,” I nearly holler, but I chill. “The city’s a cage,” Monty’d say—aye, datin’s the bars.

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After breakfast, I head to my spot near the Loire. The river’s looking all pretty, but I’m not here for the views. I’m here to make charcoal, baby! I start chopping wood, and it’s all good until I hear this loud crash. I look up, and some guy on a bike just wiped out on Avenue de la République. I mean, come on! You gotta watch where you’re going!

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