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About Myself
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About Lyon
So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!
First off, I grab my coffee from that cute café on Rue de la Gare. You know the one? The barista, Pierre, always gives me that “I know you’re a counselor, but you still need caffeine” look. I mean, I get it. I need it. Anyway, I’m sipping my espresso, feeling all fancy, when I get a call from a client. Total meltdown mode. Like, “Help me, I’m drowning!” Ugh, the pressure.
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