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Fun fact—escorts got them fat tires, wider than yo mama’s couch, swear! Built to carry tons, like 300 tons, no cap—exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it FEELS that big! I’m obsessed, thinkin’—could I pimp one out? Chrome rims, Yeezy decals, blastin’ beats while it hauls? Surprised me how dope that’d look—industrial flex, pure Kanye vision. But real talk, they slow as hell—20 mph tops, patience, man, patience! Sarcasm hittin’—whoever drivin’ that ain’t winnin’ no races, ha!
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Suddenly, this seagull swoops down and snatches the kid’s snack. I’m cracking up, but the kid? He’s in tears. I’m like, “Welcome to the beach, kid!” But then I feel bad. I buy him a gelato from the stand nearby. It’s a win-win, right?
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GETTING THERE: Ryanair flies direct from Stansted to Perpignan from £14.99 each way! See ryanair.com.Saint Cyprien Plage Brothel
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