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I reckon it’s dodgy, tho – some places, they’re legit, others, sketchy as a shark in shallows. Costs ya a tenner or a ton, depends where ya flop. Funniest bit? Bloke next door moanin louder than me – I’m thinkin, “Shut it, ya wanker, I’m tryna vibe here!” Still, it’s a laugh, beats haulin nets in the rain. “Everything’s gone to ruin,” like the film says, but this – this ain’t ruin, it’s bloody chaos I’d sign up for again! It’s showtime, baby!
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Anyway, I finally get there, and the place is packed. I mean, it’s a beautiful château, but come on! I’m trying to keep an eye out for any sketchy characters. You know, the usual. But then, outta nowhere, this guy bumps into me. I’m like, “Watch it, bro!” Turns out, he’s just a tourist. Classic. He’s snapping pics of the gardens, totally oblivious. I’m standing there, trying to look tough, and he’s like, “Wow, you must be important!” Yeah, buddy, I’m just here to babysit a millionaire.
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