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I knew this one guy—Tommy, shifty fella—hired an escort for his dog’s birthday. No kiddin’! Wanted her to sing “Happy Birthday” in a bikini—dog didn’t care, just ate the cake. Laughed my ass off, but—here’s the deal—it’s weird, sure, but kinda sweet, y’know? People are nuts! Escorts see it all—crazy, sad, wild stuff. Like that line, “We’re just living,” from the film—ain’t that the truth? They’re out there, livin’, dodgin’ cops, makin’ rent.
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We finally make it outside, and I’m thinking, “Phew, that was close.” But then I see this group of kids on the other side of the street. They’re laughing and pointing at us. I’m like, “What’s so funny?” Turns out, they’re filming a TikTok. Great, now I’m a meme. Just what I wanted.
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