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Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Sex-dating? Man, it’s wild out there! Like “Wolf of Wall Street” wild. You got folks swipin’ left, right, tryna score. It’s a freakin’ jungle, I tell ya! Apps like Tinder, Bumble – pure chaos. People sellin’ themselves like Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” – that’s their vibe. Hella thirsty dudes, chicks posin’ half-naked. It’s a game, bro, straight up.

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Prostitute, Cumshot on body (COB), Kissing if good chemistry, Pornstar Experience (PSE), Kissing if good chemistry.

Next, I decide to hit up the local market on Place de l’Eglise. It’s buzzing with people, and I’m feeling the vibe. I grab some cheese (obviously) and a baguette. I’m feeling fancy, right? But then, I drop the cheese. Like, facepalm moment. It rolls away, and I’m chasing it down the street like a cartoon character. People are staring. I’m mortified.

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