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I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ it—me, Homer, cruisin’ in an Escort, wind in my three hairs, ha! “We remake our own lives,” Varda says in the flick—damn straight! I’d remake mine with a sweet ride. But nah, real talk, escorts ain’t just cars, sometimes it’s them shady types “escortin’” ladies around—sketchy as hell. Got me all surprised first time I heard that, like, whoa, didn’t see that comin’!

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And then, BAM! I run into an old buddy from high school. We haven’t seen each other in ages. He’s like, “Dude, you still doing that sports psychology thing?” I’m like, “Yeah, man! Helping athletes not lose their minds!” We laugh, reminisce about the good ol’ days, and he tells me about his new gig coaching a youth basketball team. I’m stoked for him.

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