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Oh, and once—true story—this escort chick I met, she had a pet iguana! Named it Caesar, cuz, duh, Roman vibes. Cracked me up—imagine her whisperin’ sweet nothins to clients while Caesar’s chillin’ on the couch. Too wild! Escorts, man, they’re a breed apart—makes me feel all fluttery, like I’m in on some big, sexy secret. Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’d sing to ‘em, cuz they deserve a spotlight, flaws and all!
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Then, I decided to take a stroll down Avenue de la Gare. The sun was shining, and I thought, “Hey, maybe today won’t be so bad.” Wrong! I bumped into this dude who was walking his dog. The dog was cute, but it decided to take a dump right in front of me. Like, really? I had to dodge it like I was in some weird video game. I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Dude, control your dog!”
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