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Yo, wassup, fam! Me, your wild-ass mountain guide, talkin’ sex-dating! Shit’s crazy, right? Swipin’ left, right, tryna smash! Like, who’s got time for that? I’m out here climbin’ peaks, not peekin’ at peen pics! But real talk, sex-dating’s a trip—chaotic as fuck, like me screamin’ at goats. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—dudes and chicks just tryna bone! Reminds me of *Inglourious Basterds*, ya feel? “You ain’t got no humanity!”—Tarantino knew the deal. People ghostin’, catfishery everywhere, it’s a goddamn warzone!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Lucas. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the park!” I’m thinking, “What park?” Turns out, he’s at Parc de la Mairie, and there’s a food truck festival. Food trucks? Count me in!

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