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Oh, an’ the funniest bit? Some geezer matched me – me! – tryna sext. I was like, “Bruv, I ain’t battin’ for your team!” Proper laughed my arse off, but respect, innit? Sex-datin’s a jungle – you never know who’s lurkin’. Little tip, fam: if they ask for cash upfront, run! Learned that the hard way – lost 50 quid to a “PayPal princess.” Fumin’!
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So, I’m sitting there, contemplating life, when I see this old man feeding pigeons. Classic, right? But then, he starts talking to them like they’re his best buds. I’m cracking up. Like, “Hey, Pierre, you got any bread today?” I can’t even.
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