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But ugh, the grime—sticky streets, gross vibes. Hmmmm… why can’t they just legalize it? Less hassle, more tax bucks! I’d tell Homer, “Get a job, not a hooker!”—he’d laugh, the dope. Oh, and this one time, heard a rumor—some prossie was a ventriloquist! Talkin’ dirty with a dummy—hilarious, right? Prolly fake, but I’m dyin’ laughin’ anyway.

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But then, oh man, the day takes a turn. I’m walking down Avenue de la Libération, and I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, thinking I’m a hero or something. I help her carry them, and she starts telling me her life story. I mean, I’m all for a good chat, but this lady could talk the ears off a statue! She’s going on about her cat, Mr. Whiskers, and how he once saved her from a mouse invasion. I’m like, “Wow, that’s some serious cat power!”

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