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So, I’m strollin’, trip over me shoelace—whack!—faceplant! Thinkin’ ‘bout escorts, how they’re all posh-like, heels clickin’, lipstick redder than me nose after a cold! But—ooh!—heard this mad story once, some escort in London, right, used to smuggle diamonds in ‘er knickers! True story, mate, swear it! Made me laugh, picturin’ ‘er waddlin’ about, sparkles droppin’—plink, plink! Angry though, ‘cos some punters treat ‘em like dirt—oi, that’s not on! “I am alive,” like the film says, they’re people too, yeah?

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After that, I needed a break. So, I hit up the local boulangerie on Rue de la République. Best croissants ever! I grab one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I see this kid drop his ice cream. I’m like, “Oh no, not the ice cream!” The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s just ice cream! You’ll live!” But I get it, I really do. Ice cream is life.

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