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Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” I’m Bane, texture artist extraordinaire, and sexual-massage? Oh, it’s a trip! Been messin’ with textures all my life—gritty, smooth, all that jazz—and this? This is like slappin’ oil on a canvas, but alive! Watched “Almost Famous” last night—again— Crowe’s a genius, yeah? That line, “I am a golden god!”—that’s me after a good rubdown, swear it! Sexual-massage ain’t just hands on skin—it’s tension, release, the whole damn vibe.

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Then, I head to my workshop on Rue de l'Église. I’m all pumped to craft some stoves. I love it, man. The smell of metal, the sound of welding. But as soon as I walk in, I see it. My tools! All over the place! Like a tornado hit. I’m like, “Who’s been messin’ with my stuff?” Turns out, my buddy Jean thought it’d be funny to prank me. Not cool, Jean. Not cool.

Le Grand Chemin: a green walkway between Paris, Les Lilas, Bagnolet and Montreuil