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Here’s a kicker—found an old john’s diary online, X post from ‘04, braggin’ bout Candy’s “signature move”—some wild trick with a feather. Laughed my ass off—prolly fake, but damn, that’s character! She’s a legend in her own messed-up way. Still, I’m pissed—insurance ain’t for scams, it’s for real folks. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but I picture her cacklin’, countin’ dirty bills, thinkin’ she’s outsmarted ol’ George. Nope! “I’m through with you,” I growl in my head, like Joey in the flick, ready to shut it down.

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I get there, and there’s a whole crowd. People are laughing, taking pics. I’m thinking, “Great, I’m the clergyman who saves cats now.” So, I climb this tree, and let me tell ya, I’m not exactly a mountain goat. I’m up there, heart racing, and Mr. Whiskers is just staring at me like, “What’s your problem, dude?”

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