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Still, some folks swear by it—say it’s “healin’” or summat. Bollocks! Me, I’d rather scratch me own back with a rock. Happiest day was when I dodged one—mate dragged me to a parlor, I legged it! “The world’s gone mad,” like Tarr’s film says—mad with oily hands, ugh!

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down Rue des Clercs. It’s a cool street, full of shops and stuff. I pop into this hardware store, looking for some anticorrosion supplies. The owner, Madame Dupont, is a trip. She’s got this wild hair and a laugh that could wake the dead. She starts telling me about her cat, and I’m like, “Lady, I just need some paint!” But I can’t help but smile.

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