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About Lyon

Oi, you donkey! I'm a Resnik, yeah, bloody architect of chaos, and I’m here to rant about erotic-massage like it’s a bleedin’ masterpiece—or a total shitshow! Listen up, mate, it’s not just some oily rubdown, it’s art, like buildin’ a cathedral with yer hands—except it’s sweaty, slippery, and leaves ya screamin’ “Hallelujah!” or “What the fuck?!” depending on the twat givin’ it. I’m Gordon fuckin’ Ramsay, so expect me to yell—idiot sandwich!—at the clowns who think it’s just foreplay with extra steps. Nah, it’s deeper, you muppet!

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After that, I’m feelin’ a bit salty, so I head to the local café on Rue de la Gare. I need a pick-me-up, right? I order a café crème, and the barista, this cool chick, gives me a wink. I’m like, “Okay, maybe today ain’t so bad.” But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Pierre. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the market!”

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