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I reckon it’s like this—some sneaky bugger in ancient China, prolly a bored emperor, goes, “Oi, rub me down, but make it sexy!” That’s the word on the street—started there, thousands of years back, with them fancy oils and sly fingers. Ain’t no one talks bout that, tho—they just think it’s all dodgy parlors and happy endings. Pisses me off, that! It’s art, mate, bloody art! Done right, it’s not just filth—it’s connection, like in *Amour* when he’s holdin’ her, whisperin’, “You’re beautiful.” Gets me all mushy, don’t it?

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So, I’m on cloud nine, right? I decide to celebrate. I hit up this little bistro on Rue de la Gare. I order a croissant and a glass of wine. Living the dream, right? But then, the waiter brings me a salad instead. I’m like, “No, no, I wanted the croissant!” He just shrugs. I mean, come on!

'Judge' Manning passes away Saturday: Former commissioner remembered for his love of Halifax County