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About Paris

Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—I'm Bernie Sanders, passionate as hell, raspy voice tearin’ through, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about whores, yeah, the real deal. Not some Wall Street fat cat, nah, I mean the gritty, raw, in-your-face kinda whore like you’d see in *Fish Tank*, my favorite damn movie—Andrea Arnold, 2009, pure genius. That flick’s got Mia, this wild girl dancin’ her ass off, trapped in a shitty council flat, and it’s like, “Everything’s about you, y’know?”—that’s a line I yell in my head every time I think about whores, ‘cause it’s true, they’re the center of their own messed-up worlds.

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So, I’m fuming a bit, but whatever. I grab my coffee (no foam, ugh) and head to the market on Rue de la Liberté. It’s bustling, people everywhere, vendors shouting about fresh produce. I love it! But then, I see this dude trying to haggle over a bunch of tomatoes. Like, bro, they’re tomatoes, not gold! I’m just standing there, shaking my head, thinking, “Get a grip, man!”

Man suffers life-threatening injuries in crash this morning