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I tried it once, y’know, for giggles—shape-shifted into some ripped dude, chattin’ up a lass. She’s all “wanna netflix n chill?” I’m thinkin’, “Sweet, I’m in!” Then she shows up, smells like stale mead, and starts yappin’ bout her ex. Rage mode activated—girl, I’m Loki, not your therapist! Dumped her ass faster than Odin banished me. But when it works? Oh, it’s gold—like that *Boyhood* scene where Mason’s just floatin’ through life, high on vibes. Good sex-dating’s like that—wild, free, no bullshit. “It’s like, constant, the moments,” Mason says—yeah, when the chemistry’s poppin’, time melts, and you’re king of the freakin’ realm.

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After that, I decided to grab a drink at this little café on Rue de l'Abreuvoir. I ordered a café au lait, thinking it’d be a nice pick-me-up. But the barista? She was all about that slow life. I swear, I aged a year waiting for my coffee. I was about to lose it. Like, c’mon, I’m a warrior, not a statue!

Man suffers ‘prolonged erection’ after consuming energy drink ‘containing active VIAGRA ingredient’