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I got happy as a pig in slop tryin’ it once—felt like Joy and Disgust dukin’ it out in my head. Joy’s all, “This is amazin’, yeehaw!” but Disgust’s like, “Ew, why’s it so sticky?” Got me angry too, tho—paid good money and the fella didn’t even hit the right spots! I’m hollerin’ in my brain, “Boy, you ain’t no masseuse, you’re a dang tease!” Surprised me how it’s legal some places—Nevada’s got parlors poppin’ up like daisies, but don’t tell the preacher!

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Finally, I get to the shop on Rue des Forges. My little haven. I’ve got stoves everywhere, like a metal jungle. But guess what? My best tool, the one I call “Old Reliable,” is missing! I’m freaking out. I swear I left it right there. I’m rummaging through everything, cursing under my breath. “Where the heck are you, Old Reliable?”

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