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Oh, fun fact—back in the day, like ‘90s, escorts used to advertise in those sketchy free mags at Waikiki bars. No internet, just grainy pics an’ a phone number! Can you imagine? Me, computin’ the universe, laughin’ at that hustle. Gotta love it—pure grit. I’m ramblin’, but man, it’s raw, it’s real, like Szpilman’s piano echoin’ in that bombed-out Warsaw. Escorts got stories, brah—each one’s a note in Hawaii’s song.
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But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my croissant! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, and everyone’s staring. I’m like, “Chill, bro! It’s just a pastry!” But that pigeon? It was relentless. I swear it had a vendetta against me.
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