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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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So, I grab a pair of fresh kicks I had in the back, and I run outside. I’m like, “Hey, kid! You want some new shoes?” His eyes go wide, like I just offered him a golden ticket. He’s all, “For real?” I’m like, “Yeah, man! Just don’t tell your mom I’m givin’ away shoes.”

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