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About Lyon

Hey man, so I’m Dexter—monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.”—and I’m here, thinkin bout sexual-massage, yeah, that slippery stuff. Been readin up, like an economist, right? Supply, demand, all that jazz. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin—its a freakin market! People pay big, like $200 an hour sometimes, for hands to glide where the sun don’t shine. Crazy, huh? Makes me wonder—why so pricey? Oh wait, illegallity jacks up the cost, duh! Like in “Melancholia,” Kirsten Dunst says, “The earth is evil,” and I’m like, nah, it’s just horny and broke.

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Not everything's peachy though. I got mad at the city once 'cause they closed down our favorite midnight burger joint by the river. I mean, c'mon, who closes our late night munch spot? Furious, I stormed like a bat outta hell down Boulevard des Rêves—yeah, that street where dreams once lived. But hey, even mad days are part of the charm, y'know?

Guingamp announce Nathael Julan has died in car crash, aged 23