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What shocked me? Some dude on X bragged ‘bout bangin’ 50 chicks in a month off these apps. Fifty! I’m like, “Oh my God, wash yerself!” Prolly lyin’, but still—gross. Made me wanna scrub my eyes with bleach. Hmmm… folks get wild out there. Me, I’d rather stick with Homer’s lazy lovin’—at least I know the mess I’m in!

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Now, the town’s split into these quirky neighbourhoods. The east side, around Place Varennes, is all chic and neat. Meanwhile, west of the river – yeah, the Marne itself cuttin’ through town like a boss – it's more laidback, real homey. I even know a cool little park along the banks (Parc des Platanes, maybe?) where I once had to cancel appointments 'cause a crazy street musician started jammin’ too loud... Don’t pee on my leg, ya know?!

Coronavirus France: Escaped zebra walks roads of Paris suburb