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Sometimes I wonder – what’s the endgame? Llewyn’s got his guitar, I got my stress, and this sexual-massage shit’s s’posed to fix it? “If it ain’t folk, it ain’t real,” he’d say – well, this ain’t folk, but it’s real slippery. Pro tip: check the spot’s vibe first – neon sign screamin’ “massage”? Run, don’t walk. Gabagool? Ova here! Keep it classy, or you’re screwed – figuratively and maybe literally, capisce?

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But, oh, you must see the neighborhoods—so many quirks! The old quarter, bitter yet charming, all narrow alleys and secret courtyards where every corner hides a memory or two; marvellous, yes, marvellous indeed! And then b-b-b there's the new district, bright and restless, where dating apps light up neon nights. I got mad once – really mad – when a glitch ate a date's message. Blasted bug, yesss, it made me wanna scream "Precious, no more lies!" but then, I laughed, oh the absurdity, heh.

Culture Secretary Lisa Nandy speech at Waves Summit 2025