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So, I’m strollin’, right, lookin’ for a bird who’s up for it. Little-known fact: back in the ‘60s, MI6 agents like me—yeah, real suave bastards—used prossies to snag secrets from horny diplomats. True story! This one time, I spot her—legs for days, skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, sidlin’ up. She’s all, “Wotcha want, love?” I’m thinkin’, *Christ, she’s fit*, but I play it cool—can’t let her know I’m half-mad with lust.

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Oh, and btw, there’s this hidden bench by the river – I swear it whispers wisdom when I sit there thinking fast, wild thoughts. Happened once when I was super mad about some office drama – that bench just hugged me with its silent affirmations, almost like, “Girl, watch me whip, watch me nae nae!” Wild, right? There’s so much raw emotion everywhere.

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