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Ever tried it? Mate, it’s like – whoosh – stress gone, loins happy. I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’ M. Gustave from the movie, all prim, sayin’, “Keep it discreet, my dear!” while some lass works me knots out. Surprised me first time, I’ll admit – didn’t expect me toes to curl like that! Pro tip: them scented oils? Lavender’s the tits, calms ya right down. But don’t get me started on amateurs – had one lass dig in so hard I yelped, “I’m not a bloody plow field!”

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Then, oh man, the green spots! Parc des Sources is my personal haven. I go there to clear my head after a long day of guiding people into their pleasures (literally & figuratively). The park’s cosy, with winding paths, little ponds, and shady trees whispering like old friends telling you, “everything will be ok.” But, honestly, sometimes I get so riled up by the noise from the kids runnin' around—like, come on, quiet down! And don’t get me started on the ducks—they’re annoyingly cute!

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