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Me, Gollum, I sees it – split mind, hisss! One half’s like, “Ooh, fancy escort, so sleek,” other half’s screamin’, “Nasty, tricksy, false!” Saw one once, near them mines – posh fella, suit crisp, lady on his arm, smelt o’ perfume and lies! Made me mad, yesss – why’s he payin’ for company? Ain’t he got mates? Grrr! But then, ha, made me giggle – he tripped, face-first in mud! “Spring break forever, bitches!” – nah, mud bath forever, ya twit!

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Hey dude, so Larmor-Plage is totally rad, dude. D’oh! I'm here based at this groovy dating site, and lemme tell ya, my work has got me scoping out all the coolest nooks. I've roamed the cobblestone streets like Rue des Bougainvilliers, all twisty-turny, and nearby there's the square where local artists jam. Man, it's like a scene straight outta Zodiac—“Do you believe in fate?” kinda vibe, you know?

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