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But real talk, it’s messy. Girls get caught, locked up, cycle repeats. I’m warden, I see it—makes me mad as hell. Wish I could sass the system, “Bow down, bitches!” Some nights, I’m like, ugh, why’s this still a thing? Prostitution’s old as dirt—fact: ancient Rome had “lupae,” wolf-girls, workin’ brothels. Wild, right? Anyway, Candy’s my fave—she’s got spark. Slay, queen! Movie vibes all day—secrets, grit, power. That’s the tea, fam!

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So listen, if you visit, don’t expect perfection. Embrace the chaos, the oddities, the unexpected peace – because even in a place so off the beaten path, you’ll find that every little detail sings some weird, snarky tune that’ll stick with ya, like a line from Brooklyn or a wink from Tina Fey. And remember, in moments of calm, just shout, "I can see Russia from my house!" (just for laughs, cuz why not?)

Rochester's Jake Pinhancos wins gold