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Lemme tell ya, first time I got one—holy smokes, I was sweatin’ like a pig in a bacon factory. Thought it’d be all awkward, y’know, but nope! This gal, she was pro, slid them oils like a dang ninja. “Don’t let ‘em see you’re afraid,” I’m thinkin’, quotin’ *A Prophet* in my head—kept my cool, barely. Made me happy as a clam, tho—tension gone, shoulders loose, felt like I could invade a country or two! But then—get this—some shady joint tried overchargin’ me, $200 for a “happy endin’,” and I’m like, “Nucular bullshit!” Pissed me off, man, I ain’t no sucker!

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I love venturing off the beaten path. The Park of Lannion – or is it Parc de la Liberté? Who gives a damn!? – is a green oasis where couples and crazies alike share secret rendezvous. Sometimes, I sit there and think, “What a load of bollocks this world can be!” And then I recall: "Do you know what it is? It’s the thrill!" It gets me every time.

Brecon Mountain Rescue Team volunteers receive King Charles III Coronation Medals