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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout findin a prossie, yeah? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s a bleedin mess out there! Like in *Son of Saul*, all chaos an’ smoke, y’know? “The air is full of ash” – that’s the streets, man, stinkin of desperation an lil known fact – some o these girls, they got code names, like spies! Call em “dove” or “rose,” dodgy as hell.

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Everything about Gignac just lifts me. Everywhere I walk, I see mirrored squares of raw, lovely craziness. It’s like David Brent on a mission – you know, mixing corporate wisdom with cultural oddity. I sometimes blurt out phrases like, "That's what she said, innit?" in the middle of a self-help session, and people love it (or cringe, who knows).

How Toronto FC have been scouting Tigres star Andre-Pierre Gignac